...to Denver, Colorado on the 8th of November. :(

This is the first time i'll be sleeping away from Tristan and i can already feel very very anxious about the whole thing.

Tried my best to weasel out of the trip, but to no avail. The boss has already made plans for me there and this trip (and the presentation) has already been included in my year-end appraisal. For the sake of my performance bonus (yes, i am that shallow!), i will just have to make the trip. Get it over and done with.

On the positive side, Tristan will be sleeping over for 2 nights at my in-laws place and i'm sure Ah Gong and Ah Ma will enjoy this bonding time with him. As much as i know the old folks pamper him to death, i usually let them do whatever they want (other than feeding him junk food) and enjoy their grandson however they want! The rest of the nights will be Tristan and Daddy home alone and i think it'll be great that the 2 of them get some father-and-son bonding time alone. Dan is already thinking of bringing Tristan out alone to Macs for brekkie while i'm away...the little one loves hot cakes and was stuffing his face silly when we went there yesterday. He's learning to use the fork and is getting much much better at self-feeding now!

This will be a busy 2 weeks...preparing for the trip, the presentation, getting some work done before i head off. Will definitely be travelling light because it'll only be 4 nights but i can already imagine bringing back lotsa junk for the hubby and Tristan (I Love Denver t-shirts, maybe?)...

I have every reason to believe that Tristan will be well taken of while i'm away and Jenny told me there's no reason for me to feel bad and guilty for leaving him here while i jet off. I can't believe i'm already having separation anxiety even though i'm only going to be away for 4 nights...SIGH! How do working mums cope with having to travel for worktrips?

For the record, I have already informed the boss that i will travel this time BUT expect to be given immunity and the right to reject anymore worktrips the next 2 years! Unless it's somewhere closer like Aussie where i can whip the whole family together with me!

5 minutes ago, SKC finally confirmed Chester's JD (Jumping Dog) title and i cannot describe how proud i am of him.

It was an emo moment when we finished our last trial and got our 3rd and final clean run for the title. I was close to tears (or rather, i cried secretly without anyone noticing), patted Chester fervently and whispered to him as we walked out of the ring...

"I finally titled you, boy..."

It was never my victory to begin with. It was always his, but i knew he needed me to put in my heart and soul for him, to enable him to live his short Border Collie existence to the fullest. And i'd like to think i did...

Some people take 3 trials to get their title; we took nearly 3 years. Some people give up on training their dogs because they can't afford the time and effort; we never did even though Life piles on more and more responsibilities and obligations on us (or rather, me) every single day.

This is the dog with a lousy temperament. This is the dog that is edgy, territorial and so-very-often picks up a fight with other male dogs. This is the dog that i had to carry to the start line on our first trial, fearful that he will getting eliminated for fighting even before he entered the ring.

This is the dog that still does not see eye-to-eye with many other dogs. But this is also the dog that i can stand with at the waiting area now, in the company of so many other dogs before our turn during a trial. This is also the dog that i can now walk into the ring with, without the fear that he will bolt off and attack the next Golden Retriever he sees.

This is the dog that i never thought will achieve much because he lacks an even temperament. But this is also the same dog that i work so hard with because i wanted him to do what every Border Collie is made to do.

This is the dog that taught me nothing is impossible as long as you put your heart and soul into it. This is the dog that taught me that failure is not final but just a boost to spur you on faster and further. This is the dog that taught me the only competitor i have is myself and as long as there is progress, we have already won. This is the dog that taught me that nothing is more important than doing your best no matter what the outcome is.

This is the dog that i never gave up on, no matter how much his poor temperament hindered me. This is the dog that never gave up on me, no matter how much my poor handling skills, the arrival of Tristan, my general lack of time/energy hindered him.

This is the dog, Chester the Jester, JD.

"...And a title says that you loved your dog, that you loved to spend time with it because it was a good dog, that you believed in it enough to give it yet another chance when it failed, and that, in the end, your faith was justified.

A title proves that your dog inspired you to that special relationship enjoyed by so few; that in a world of disposable creatures, this dog with a title was greatly loved, and loved greatly in return.

And when that dear short life is over, the title remains as a memorial of the finest kind, the best you can give to a deserving friend, volumes of pride in one small set of initials after the name..."

Just trying to jot down my thoughts before i nick off for another morning meeting. Easing into the day with my elderflower tea, the queue at Spinelli's was too long and so i didn't manage to get my mocha.

Lots of things running through my mind. Some are totally random. Some are decisions i have to make. I'm still not sure if i want to go to Denver to present my poster. It will be a very very rare opportunity because according to the boss, i am the first local person to be doing so....but going there means i'll have to leave the Tristan and the hubby behind, and that is not something i like very much. I've made it very clear to the department that family is first on my priority list and thank God the boss understands and supports that. We'll see, i guess. i'm just hoping the people on top tells the boss we have no budget to send me on the trip, especially since i'm going to be ordering room service every day just like my previous trip to South Carolina and Florida...heh.

Maybe i really do have separation anxiety after all!

Have also been toying with the idea of going part-time. I know, i know...i've been saying it before Tristan even turned 1. I've never been the kind who will wait for the "right" time because i've always believed the right time is NOW (or never). Still, it is a big decision because of all the logistical issues. I really need to sit down and work out the finances because if i really do decide to work part-time, i'll be taking a 50% (thereabouts) paycut. I'm not a big spender but i like to make sure i at least have 2-3 months worth of salary in my bank in case of a rainy day. And yes, i have a house loan and a car loan to service too.

Other random things have also been popping into my mind. Like...alot of old scenes from the past. Like...the places that Dan and I used to go when we were a dating couple. I wonder if anyone remembers "The Green Place" or "Pennsylvania House" at Capitol Building? I remember spending one of my birthdays at Pennsylvania House and Dan had already bought a cake and sent it there before dinner time. When the waiter brought the cake out after dinner, i still exclaimed excitedly that "got complimentary dessert ah"! Dan still remembers that incident and that it was a Snoopy cake that he bought....even after nearly 10 years.

Maybe it's because i have been listening to so many sad love stories (rather, unrequited love stories) recently and how many people around me have been telling me they're not sure if they will ever meet "the one" and the love of their lives....i feel truly truly blessed that I've met a man that i can share my entire life with. If there's one thing Dad taught me about loving a person, it is to love unconditionally with no complaints and no regrets ("wu yuan wu hui", so he says). If there's one thing i want to teach Tristan about Life, i think i'd want him to be a loving person who will always find it in his heart to love all his neighbours.

My mantra in life - Live. Laugh. Love.

Random thought after seeing some firemen engaging in their fire-saving drill (or whatever you callit) - it's quite cool being a fireman! Nothing to do with them being uniformed men! I've also been looking at cars on the road and realise i can do with a new car! Although i'm more of the "i-just-need-a-car-to-get-from-PointA-to-PointB" person, i think i can do with a better (and manual) car. We've abused our little hatchback too much and i hate the new suspension. Not all things hard are good, you know. I'm pleasantly surprised that the husband's first goal if he earns whatever he aims to earn in a year, is to get me a car. I said i wanted a WRX when he asked me but i think i've changed my mind and want an STI (no less!) now. Tee hee hee!! I loved our Scooby and somehow, i just have a special relationship with it...

Another random thought...maybe i should convert this to a food blog since i've been cooking lots lately?

There are good mornings and bad mornings. Today happened to be a good morning and i left the house with nice hair (with all the flyaway strands in place) and mascara. :)

Kissed the husband goodbye, in his crisp white shirt (YUM). Patted Chester before i left home - God, he smells so good and his fur is divinely soft after his bath yesterday! Walked hand in hand with Tristan to the car park (he got distracted multiple times and wanted to jump into the swimming pool!). Can't stop smiling as i watched Tristan "singing" Baa Baa Black Sheep from the rear view mirror. Put on my fave Jay Chou disc on the way to work and blasted the music, windows down with the wind in my face. Traffic was surprisingly good which i was thankful. Managed to get my mocha before heading to office...

"These are a few of my favourite things..."

Will be baking banana bread later tonight!

I think i can finally say that i am not a Border Collie and therefore should NOT try to do as much as a Border Collie is build to.

Even Leonardo (who was my trainer in one of the external courses) commented that i am the kind who wants to do everything and may run the risk of burning out or having no "me-time" if i don't take it easy and remind myself it is okay to do nothing at all. Leonardo only knew me for 2 days by the way, and he was spot-on.

Truth is, i find sleeping a waste of time. Very radical, i know. And with my recent goal to cut down on time-wasting activities like watching the tv and surfing the net, i'm getting less time to just muck around and veg out.

Even if i'm surfing the net, i'm looking for information about work, about training, about everything else that i hold important. It's almost as if i'm living my last day every single day and i have no idea why! It's not as if i don't already have enough on my plate, i don't know why i just get myself involved in more and more things (from trying to help "liak gneow" and mediate cases involving stray cats at the work place...to becoming an ex-co member of a work-related association). Even if i'm playing the XBox/PSP, i am trying to master a character, or beat my own timing/record at something.

Is there ever a time that i just do nothing? Hardly.

And if you ask me if i have me-time? Ironically, i'll answer yes. Training Chester at ungodly hours (e.g. 6am, 11pm), before/after Tristan sleeps, is considered me-time to me even though it can be mentally and physically draining. With the trials just around the corner, i think i'm pushing myself hard, possibly even more than i push Chester (afterall, he's a Border Collie and he sleeps his day away while i'm at work).

I know i eventually have to know how to ease off and just stop being a Border Collie and curb my "i-need-to-do-something" instincts because i am feeling the effect of taking too much on my shoulders already. I really need to start being a diva Poodle!

Another unplanned hiatus - 6 months just whizzed by like that! I'd love to blog more but unfortunately, blogging is quite low on the priority list atm (at the moment). Anyway, everyone gets updates on me via Facebook! Still, here's a summary of my life in point form:

1. Work has been superb. Very grateful to boss for trying to push me up the food chain (even though i really resisted it at the start). Later, i discovered (during one of our leadership/confidence building/communication training session), that i'm actually averse to power and it stems wayyy back to when i was young...(that's another story for another time).

2. Two increments in the past 5 months, can you believe it?

3. Boss is also in the midst of doing some negotiation for me to co-author a tree shrew chapter in someone's new book. Can't wait and hope it materialises.

4. Have been rejecting alot of overseas training opportunities because i still don't think i can come to terms with not sleeping under the same roof as Tristan (for now). Very pathetic i know but i'm grateful that the boss is cutting me alot of slack on that.

5. Back on the "training session" i mentioned in point 1. I've only had a few life-transforming experiences in my 31 years of existence and this is truly one of them. I shed some baggages i didn't even know i was carrying and forced a few skeletons out of the closet. I can't describe the experience in a few words but i've been sharing them with alot of people around me...so talk to me if you wanna know more!

6. Still training Chester and trialling him, not just for the SKC trials now but also for the USDAA trials. In the last 3 months, Chester has successfully gained 2 Qs (Qualifying Score) - one for SKC and one for USDAA. On our way to titling Chester as a Jumper Dog and hopefully by the end of the year, he'll be Chester JD (in human terms, that just means more alphabets behind your name).

7. I attribute the latest win at the SKC trials (and 2 good runs i had with him) to the "training session" because it taught me how to unleash alot of inner powers that i had but never knew how to use. Sounds abit psycho right?

8. Celebrated 11 years of togetherness with the love of my life last month and looking forward to our 2nd wedding anniversary next month! After not taking neoprints for eons, we finally had one taken again on that very day!

9. Little Tristan is growing, intellectually more than physically which is a good thing (he's not even 10kg at 14 months old and i'm not complaining!). Even though it's getting more taxing for us now that he's like a mini hurricane, i'd never exchange the joy of being a parent for anything else in the world!! The little one never fails to amaze me everyday - from his excellent learning abilities (i believe he has more than 40 words in his vocab, ranging from banana to spider to wheels) to his funny antics (his latest is trying to walk with his eyes closed)...i can't stop ranting when it comes to my lil' darling!

10. After neglecting my PSP for awhile (attention got diverted to the XBox360), i'm back at it again and playing the long overdue SIMS 2 atm (waiting for the launching of SIMS 3 next month)....anyone with good games, tell me!!

Ciao for now.

The good thing about my current job is that it allows me to be more involved in doing my bit for the community animals as a volunteer (i just did a talk for the CWS over the weekend at the AVA Roadshow) because i have more free time and am not slogging my ass off during the weekend or after normal office hours.

i feel good knowing that i'm helping animals because i want to, and not because i need a pay check or because i'm obliged to fill my bosses' pockets by default. To those who have repeatedly told me they're "running a business and not a charity organisation", screw you!!!

I've just placed an order for a new Coach bag which in my opinion is expensive but in my husband's words is "okay what...quite cheap what"! Perfect excuse for me to just bite the bullet and proceed with the buy! :)

The good thing is - and i've only just realised this, i'm blessed with a husband who doesn't raise an eyebrow about branded bags and such. In fact, he's usually the one who gets the big-ticket items for me (and no, he doesn't nag or complain or give me a guilt trip after that) while i spend most of my time searching for cheapo stuff. I suspect it's largely because he has an expensive hobby (car modding, that is) and so a bag that costs a grand or more seems pretty reasonable compared to his car mods which probably costs a lot more! (On hindsight, i can foresee him getting peeved reading this because i didn't give him due credit for the genuine effort he puts in to keep me a happy wifey. So there, i know you love me so can i use your supp card to buy more bags to make myself more happy? :))

I've been stingeing on myself for the past few months and splurging on Tristan mainly so i definitely have good reasons to pamper myself and go on a bag spree this month! I can so foresee that bag is not the only one i'm getting because i need a new workhorse too! See, the husband has been complaining about my excessively heavy Burberry hobo when he carries it for me and my retort is that it is a heavy bag in itself even without my barang barang! What's more, HE was the one who bought it for me so technically, he's complaining about his own purchase afterall! Heh!

Gone shopping! Going shopping again!

Nothing beats having good music to kick start the day. 

I'm not particularly a big fan of Keane and i probably only know 2 of their songs. But i love the whole feel of this song - the melancholy in the lyrics and the simplicity of the arrangement. Very very very pretty chord progression. 

Found a few other cover versions on youtube. I'm tempted to say some really butchered the song but i guess if they sang it exactly like Keane, then they would lose their individual style. Natasha Bedingfield started alright in the beginning (she's got a beautiful voice without a doubt) but as the song progressed, both the vocal and piano parts became more technical and complicated. I shut down instinctively because she totally killed the simplicity of the original version which was what i loved.

Laura Michelle Kelly - whoever she is, pardon me, did an ethereal cover of the song. Nothing too impressive but i got a lil' annoyed when the song ended with strings in the arrangement. Reminds me of Disney movies for some reason.

 Blake Lewis stuck with the original arrangement of the song and did a pretty decent cover version. But singing a cover version as good as the original only makes you a good singer. What made David Cook really stand out (he's the BEST AI in my opinion) is his knack for coming up with his own rendition of a song, making it sound better than the original version and finally owning the song. I can't even bloody hell remembered how Mariah Carey did "Be My Baby" but Cook's version is just so entrenched in my mind. If you asked me who the original singer of that song was, i'd probably instinctly say David Cook. 

Anyway i digressed! I wanna do a cover version of Keane's song too!! I know the hubby is looking at getting a good multitracker for the jam room so we can do our own recording in the comfort of our own home. Am definitely looking forward to that. 

So many other songs i want to share, mainly songs i hear on the hubby's IPod - songs that make me smile, songs that make me rock out, songs that make me boogie, songs that bring back good memories.... 

If music stops existing in my world one day, i think i'll die.
 

In the car this morning, as soon as the newscaster reported about the unrest in Thailand, the hubby quipped, "I don't care what's going on there, just gimme my Thai food!!"  

And yes you've got it right, our latest craze is Thai food! 

For those that had asked me (too many and too incessantly) about Yhing Thai, we headed down to Purvis Street yesterday afternoon for a pig-out session. We just didn't have enough at Aroy Thai last weekend because the hubby's hands were full with Chester, my hands were full with Tristan, and we were dining together with 10 or more other people and as you know, such communal dining usually leaves you still feeling hungry afterwards! 

Yhing Thai Palace turned out to be a great experience not only because of the yummilicious food, but also because it's been some time since the hubby and i went pak-toring without the babies (Chester and Tristan)! I had been toying with the idea of having Thai food sometime this week and told the hubby that i probably will take a day off sometime soon to go on a date with him. And i did, to the hubby's surprise because he thought i was just paying lip service about the date thing! 

So yes, i had the day off and slept in (well technically, if sleeping in with Tristan babbling between us in bed counts), had family time (all 4 of us) at the field opposite our place in the morning playing frisbee with the dog, then trooped down to Purvis Street promptly at noon after dropping the little one at my mum's place. As expected, we couldn't find any parking at the street or the adjacent streets and had to park at Bras Basah Complex, which was cool because i wanted to check out the poster printing services there anyway. 

Fortunately, the restaurant wasn't that packed and we managed to get a table even without prior reservations. I must say the service is quite good and a long-haired female waitress rapidly (albeit eerily) appeared by my side as soon as we were ready to order. Also, one of the waitresses pulled a chair over for my bag when she saw me leaving it on the floor, food was served pretty quickly, we didn't have to wait eons for our iced water to be topped up (unlike some restaurants), a waitress promptly asked me what else i'd like to order the moment i touched the menu again and a waiter even bothered to open the door for us when we were leaving the restaurant.

We didn't take too long to decide on what to have, mostly standard Thai food stuff though we decided to give the curry and pineapple rice a pass. The olive rice was recommended so we went for that. Also ordered stuffed deboned chicken wings, thai fish cake, tomyam talay (mixed seafood) and minced beef with basil.... 

By the way, if you're interested to check out this Thai food joint, the review, addy and telephone number from Makansutra can be found here. Photos from this post courtesy of Makansutra too. 
 
Will definitely go back to Yhing Thai Palace another time but for now, how about more Aroy Thai this weekend again? (A friend who knows about my latest food fetish just recommended me Thai Ying @ Amara Hotel, any other recommendations from foodies?)

 

ME!!! If you didn't know by now, i love my weekends!! More than silver or gold!

I'm glad i had the "foresight" to quit my last job because if i had continued, i would never have had enough time to spend with the hubby, the son and the dog because all my weekends will probably be burnt at work! I guess i just didn't think it was fair to leave a spouse or a child alone on a Saturday or a Sunday when these days were meant to be set aside for your family.

I have my own set of theory regarding people who work during the weekends.

Firstly, those that don't have a choice. They need the moolah and their job requires them to do so. That, i can understand. In my case, i needed the moolah, my job required me to do so, but i found better reasons to get another job. And the better reason is of course, my family.

(I still think most of us have a choice though and people who fall under the "no choice" category are the minority. Anyway, read on.)

Then, there's those who have a choice but choose to still work during weekends. The term "workaholic" is probably an understatement. Fair enough you work your ass off everyday till way past dinnertime and bedtime, but to do that during the weekends? Come on!

I can never understand (that is, after i left my job and realised i had a choice) why people burn their weekends working instead of resting, relaxing and enjoying some good ol' me-time or family time. Again, fair enough if you are single and work is on top of your priority list. But if you have a family, working during the weekends is a surefire way to kill any relationship. Unless of course, your work is an escape from your defunct or non-existent family - a husband who is constantly not around, a wife who nit-picks and nags at you incessantly or mental kids/elderly folks in your home that drives you to the brink of insanity.

Even though i loved my previous job, i never looked back after calling it quits. I love weekends because i can do things i like, and the moments are more precious because i share them with the people i love most.

Can't wait for the next weekend to come!!!

I won't indulge in post-trial geek talks so let the pictures do the talking instead.

We were *that" close to qualifying and possibly bagging a trophy but i'm glad enough that we managed to score our first clean run ever! And this is only my first trial post-pregnancy after a 1-year ring hiatus.

Many people who watched Chester felt indignant because it was such a pity (we were 0.96sec passed the qualifying time) but i maintained the fact that we came here aiming for a clean run, we got a clean run and that was more than enough for me. I'd be lying if i said i didn't want to win but winning is just a bonus (and not a requisite) to me and that can definitely wait another day! The moment i saw the judge raising his fist in the air (to signify a clean run), my heart soared like never before. The marked improvement that Chester showed, the intensity and focusness he gave already made him MY champion! :)

This is a personal win to me not only because of the clean run, but also because prior to the arrival of Tristan, many people wondered if i was going to retire or even give Chester up. Absolute rubbish, if you ask me. Who says a woman cannot continue having a life after babies, without neglecting her motherly duties? I've proven them wrong.

p.s. Am hoping Tristan will grow up wanting to handle dogs in trials too and have been exposing him to dog trials already! :) Those 2 are getting on like a house on fire! Will post new vids of them here soon.

I have been getting quality sleep for the past few weeks and past few nights especially because 1) Tristan has partially mastered the art of sleeping and self-soothing 2) my dear husband has volunteered to take over all night duties, ranging from patting Tristan back to sleep if he has any night wakings to doing the early 5-6am feeding!

I guess it's human nature to take things for granted and i know i have been very very fortunate to be blessed with a man like the hubby who helps out with the baby and the household chores without being asked to. Admittedly, i do nag at him at times but when i hear stories of how girlfriends can vomit blood when they ask their husbands to help out with the baby or chores, i count my blessings again and again.

I mean, even our ex-part time cleaner blurted out that whoever marries the hubby is one hell of a lucky woman (in this case, it's yours truly of course) because he takes care of almost everything big and small in the house, allowing me to devote all my time to taking care of Tristan, who should be our priority over dirty laundry and dusty tables anyway.

I like the synergy between us because even though we both have our individual "unspoken" duties (i.e. the baby and Chester are mainly my responbilities), we cover each others' arses instead of going at each other's throats when things are not done. Of course, there are black-face, barking days where one of us goes "why-you-never-sterilise-the-bottles?!" (me) or "why-you-leave-the-clothes-in-the-washer-for-so-long?!" (him), BUT in the grand scheme of things, i think i'm enjoying this whole marriage and motherhood thing so far and there's nothing i want more than for us to have fun together and grow as a couple.

Just the other day while we were changing sheets together (most of the time, the hubby does this so fast i don't even have time to react but this is just one of the days i "caught him in the act"), he remarked, albeit sheepishly, that he really enjoys doing household chores with me (Awwww....). Ever since the hubby got the clothes dryer, we haven't had that many chores-bonding session because we no longer have to hang out the washings anymore. Makes me wonder if we should get rid of the dryer now but of course, the rationale part of me is definitely screaming NOooooOOOoo! Haha!

Posted this on facebook 2 weeks' ago and thought it'll be nice to share this on my blog as well, so here goes. Something inspired by Tristan's smile...

The more i know Tristan, the more i realise how bullshit it is that we adults always think we are teachers to these little ones when in actual fact, they teach us more about life (while they're still innocent and untainted by the world, that is) than we can ever teach them.

Yesterday, when i went to pick the little boy up from my auntie's, she recounted what happened when she brought Tristan for a walk in his stroller earlier on. Knowing how Tristan loves seeing other kids and checking the world out, she brought him to a nearby primary school after he woke up from his nap.

Apparently, Tristan was delighted and smiled at everyone in sight, said my auntie. (I was instantaneously reminded of how Tristan, during his last visit to the paediatrician, grinned like a Cheshire cat at this idiotic, unreciprocative doctor who totally ignored the poor baby! But that's another story....sorry i digressed.)

"什么人他都跟他们笑!连在路上看到的 Bangla workers 他也跟他们笑!" (Loosely translated as, "He smiles at everyone! Even the bangla workers he meets along the way!") And of course, the Bangla workers smiled back at him while my auntie prompted him to "call uncle, call uncle".

For some reason, i felt warm and fuzzy inside when i heard that. At the same time, it also struck me how cold we've all become as human beings. Smiling at complete strangers? Some of us don't even smile at people we know. Some of us don't even smile at people we claim to love.

We were once like Tristan, fearless of the unknown, free from prejudice and ignorant of the concept of "being different". With age, we learn that there is "your kind" and "my kind"; we learn how to discriminate and segregate ourselves from those who are different; we learn to judge and form biased (and sometimes ludicrous) opinions about those we hardly know.

Then, we stopped smiling at everyone and selectively chose who we smile at. Something so small and innocent as a smile suddenly became something we guard and withhold. Why? Because not everyone is worth a smile now?

Another life lesson from Tristan perhaps.

Tristan's smile never fails to uplift our spirits, no matter how tired we are after a long day at work or after a dreadful, sleepless night. His is a smile that is true and genuine, with no qualms about who you are, what you do and how you look. Everytime i see Tristan smile, I thank God for giving me this precious gift of someone who loves me for who i am, imperfect as i may be.

Anyone who has seen a baby smile will agree that it is contagious and you just can't help but bask in the baby's goodness and feel warm from deep within...

I hope the Bangla workers whom Tristan smiled at yesterday had this same feeling too...

I can't decide what to blog because my brain has been swamped with so many random thoughts lately - from my wtf response to people who ask me during my pregnancy what's going to happen to Chester after i pop/is Chester going to retire from the dog sports scene now that i have a baby, to Eddy Grant's anti-apartheid song "Give Me Hope Jo'anna" that i heard this morning on the way to work (and we always thought that song was uber lame until i finally checked the lyrics this morning).

Anyways, i came across something more blog-worthy and decided to post this entry before i forget.

Was browsing through facebook when i noticed the hubby posting pictures of Tristan on his profile (again):

Below the picture, the hubby made this comment: "I wonder if we can all learn from Tristan...to be truly happy and contented with the smallest things in life..."

I think we all can, and should. I always believe that with contentment, greater blessings will definitely come your way. Or maybe, with a contented heart that does not hanker after the bigger and the better, even the littlest thing may seem like the greatest gift.

I think it's sad when people no longer enjoy the little things in life and blindly pursue fame, fortune, status and material comforts. We think we've progressed when we draw a better income, purchase a larger house, drive a flashier car but the truth is we've regressed because we gradually lose our ability to truly appreciate and enjoy the smaller things in life.

Are you one of those people who have lost your bearings in life because of your insatiable appetite for more and more? I know i'm not and i hope Tristan never becomes one of them. Just that day, someone asked me why Tristan seems eternally happy and at that instant, i just wished he will always be the same happy Tristan who laughs when you sing him his favourite tune, smile when you pat him and say good morning, and squeals just seeing Mummy at the end of the day......

When did you last feel happy from deep inside over the littlest thing? I did, last night when i checked on Tristan, heard his little snores and then went back to bed to the hubby and his big snores. In the still of the night, i couldn't help but let out a huge, huge smile as i lay in bed just listening to the harmony (or dissonance!) of their snores. Warped as it may sound to be happy over two snoring people in the house, i'm so grateful that both of them are in my life to constantly remind me how easy it is and how little it takes to be truly contented and happy.

Some food for thought on a Monday.....

"I handed the little one to her and quickly returned to the car, afraid that the longer i hung on to his warm, little body, the harder it'll be for me to let go. He, on the other hand, lingered around, kissing his chubby cheek repeatedly, reminding him to be a good boy and reassuring him that we'll be back to fetch him home this very evening. When he finally returned to the car, i noticed something glistening in his eyes and he confessed that he was about to cry, having just said farewell to our precious little one. The moment he said that, my throat felt knotty and i could feel tears welling up in my eyes too as he patted my lap comfortingly. At that instance, there was a common understanding between the two of us - we both love Tristan very dearly, probably much much much more than we ourselves know. We turned back and saw the quizzical expression on Tristan's face, as if he was wondering where we were heading to without him. Despite knowing he was in safe hands, we knew for ourselves that we're definitely going to miss him the entire day......till we see him again 12 hours later."

Melodramatic this may sound, but this was exactly what happened in the morning when we sent little Tristan off to my auntie's before heading to work.

The woes of working parents. SIGH.

Father and son sharing a tender moment. Can't help but smile when i see this picture. :)

This was taken while Dan and Tristan were watching Steve Vai's DVD together in the living room this morning. Don't ask me if Tristan can appreciate shredding and guitar wanking at such a young age but he was staring so intently at the google-box, grinning and laughing intermittently as if he was enjoying the music. It's probably the light, colours and movement that attracted him but hell, it looked like father and son were having a good bonding session nonetheless and the scene was just indescribably heartwarming.

The week that has just passed was an eventful one. Besides Sophie's private cremation which marred the supposedly good week, we also celebrated the hubby's 31st birthday and our one year wedding anniversary. I'll leave the details to the next post but right now, i'm off to nurse my aching body - the result of resuming my training with Chester yesterday after such a long hiatus! We finally had our first real family outing complete with the baby and dog in tow yesterday!

Even with the late night feedings and having to tend to Tristan's crankiness at times, life's good at the moment. Not looking forward to going back to work though!!

So i had to face the inevitable finally.

Yesterday, i accompanied her, now lifeless and cold, through the last lap of her journey on earth, into the burning furnace where her physical shell will be reduced to ashes. Said a quick prayer for her and hope that she'll be in kitty heaven at last, where there's no more pain and suffering.

It's a bittersweet symphony for me because i've lost a great companion. Yet i know her passing is a release to her and she no longer has to suffer anymore.

Whatever it is, she will be dearly missed by me and the rest of my family. My time with her has been wonderful, even though she only came to me when she was 15 years old. I have so many good memories of her and i can't help but replay them in my mind everytime i see her empty cage, her collar, as well as the drugs and drips that sustained her when her health was failing.

Sophie will always have special place in my heart and i pray that she's now in kitty heaven with Cocoa, enjoying everything that was robbed from her while she was old and ill. I will always remember her as the beautiful and affectionate Burmese that stole my KFC drumstick (while i was showering) as well as my heart for the last 5 years.

Time to have a good rest now, Sophie. I love you and i'll definitely miss you.

The apartment we live in is one of the "special units" because it comes with a belcony. Prior to moving in (and having a baby), we thought the belcony will be the perfect place for a chat or fag session. However, with the arrival of the little one, that isn't a feasible idea anymore. Still, i'm glad we bought the unit because old Sophie (even though her sight is failing and her health deteriorating) can relive her days in Perth and watch (or rather, feel?) the clouds roll by just as she did years ago when she was younger and healthier.

You can't imagine how comforting and at the same time, upsetting it is for me to see her sound asleep at the belcony. Sometimes, i even have to go really close to her just to make sure she's still alive and breathing. The inevitable is nearing and i can only pray that i have the wisdom to do the best for her when the time comes.....

In the meantime, i'll just let her enjoy the rest of her days basking in the sunshine, at the belcony.

So the hubby and I celebrated our 10th anniversary - we coined it the "fake anniversary" and we probably will go on to celebrate only our wedding anniversary next time. Went back to The Line and was greatly disappointed, probably because we've been there too many times and we're getting a bit sick of the food. Anyway, it was good that we could spend some quality time together because as the hubby remarked just days ago, we haven't had a good couple-couple dinner together since baby Tristan's arrival!!!

I got a very, very pretty crystal necklace from Swarovski this year! The hubby thought it'd be nice to buy something different for me and knowing i like crystals, he got the necklace for me. Totally didn't expect it but love it lots! Looking forward to celebrating our first wedding anniversary next month! :)

My maternity leave has officially come to an end (i think) but i've applied for another month of no-pay leave just to spend more time with the little boy before i head back to work. I know i'm definitely going to miss him when the time comes.

It's amazing how fast he's grown (he's already 10 weeks now and weighs nearly as much as a 5kg bag of rice!) and it really really makes me happy from the bottom of my heart when i see him smile. It seems like nothing much is happening in my life now except for the baby but i always have so so so so much to say about the baby! I guess motherhood is all about that huh! Mass sms-ed my friends and colleagues baby Tristan's latest photo just 2 nights ago and everyone says he's cute (especially his dua liap eyes!) so it's not just my biased opinion...heh! Even self-proclaimed baby hater Pauline gave me the affirmative answer so i guess it's really not my fault for being so in love with the little one!!! :D

On a side note, another colleague is leaving, following the footsteps of 2 others whom i get along really well with. Thinking about it makes me feel a bit sian going back to work. If not for the fact this job is rather cushy and the bosses give me alot of freedom, i think i'd leave too. Oh well, we'll see.....

TGIF!! Mum and my auntie are coming over tomorrow so it means i get some well-deserved rest to kick start the weekend. Sweeeeeet.